Say NO to Bullying!

Bullying... whether its in the workplace or at school, everyone comes into contact with it at some point in their lives.

Unfortunately in my job I have to deal with it on a daily basis between children, and then at a professional level, between teachers.

Sadly I've learned over the years that there are 2 types of people - those who like to bully - usually for bolstering their egos...and those who are prone to the bullying, due largely to a tendency to be over-compliant and to under-complain (yes I realise I'm inventing my own words...but its been a long week... so deal with it...)

The trouble is, that bullies rarely change, unless the tables are turned and they themselves are bullied, and this is unlikely to happen as those that are prone to bullying, do not have it in their nature to take on a bullying role in the first place... and so the bullying cycle subsists...

Whilst it may not be comforting whilst one is being bullied... it is important to remember that bullies have the following undesirable attributes:

1. Exceptionally low self esteem... think about it - if you have to hurt and belittle others to make yourself feel good...then you really mustn't have anything good going for you at all

2. Low to mediocre skill sets... The only way bullies feel they can make themselves look good to others is to stomp on people that are better than them. People who aren't bullies excel and shine on their own.

3. No genuine friends... if your only friends are those who feel safe around you because you beat up on others - then you must be a pretty lonely person right?

4. No moral standards... whether you are religious, spiritual agnostic or atheist... most people believe in "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you" or "kharma" or whichever other name you choose... the point being this is the lowest common denominator of any moral or belief system... bullies haven't even got that.

In the face of bullying it is easy to feel maligned and to want revenge... but revenge always comes at a cost - and its usually a cost to one's health or well-being... nothing is worth compromising on that.

Whilst I do not advocate in letting bullies "get-away" with their wayward behaviour, sometimes, when all decent and logical action seems to have failed I advocate making the decision that best serves the needs of one's health and mental well-being over anything else.

It may appear that the bully has won, and you may feel like you have lost... but realistically in the end bullies never win...

A lifetime of solitude and inadequacy is never a win, so whilst bullies think they have won... nothing can change the inadequacy they feel inside and so again they are unhappy... until they find the next person to bully... but its never enough,

But if you are on the receiving end of someone's bullying, sometimes placing yourself in a new environment, with new people with a different energy means a potential new start for you... to excel and shine all over again.. and you will... as you always do...

Its not important what others think, whats important is how you feel... and life's to short not to feel happy as much as possible.

Blessings to all those of you that shine on your own... and to the bullies out there (not that you would be reading this) but enjoy loneliness, inadequacy, mediocrity and darkness - you've got it and its no less than you deserve!