Most of you probably never thought that I would be promoting Lady Gaga… but here goes… Last night at one of her sell out concerts she made a statement. She said “it is not fair to fight for your individuality SOME of the time. You need to be fighting ALL the time, every single day for your individuality”
What a fantastic statement. Having worked in counselling for some time, one of the most common causes of depression in clients is generally the result of incongruence between how the client perceives themselves to be, and how he/she feels he/she must act on a daily basis in there workplace and social life. No wonder people become depressed and disillusioned. It’s hard to fake it all day everyday.
Feeling like we have to conform to all different types of societal expectations can have a lasting and draining effect on the human psyche. From the clothes you feel you must wear to an interview, to the lines you feel you must say to get the job and then keep it… it’s a wonder we don’t all crash a lot sooner than we do.
So how can we avoid this? Do we just throw caution to the wind and go to work in flannel pyjamas and tell the boss he’s an +r+ehole? That’s probably not the best idea either.
It’s important that you choose to spend a certain amount of the day doing something that you believe in. It doesn’t matter whether it’s for financial gain or for emotional gain – you have to believe that something that you do in your day MATTERS.
It’s also important to have expressed yourself somehow. Whether you choose colours to wear that make you happy or you have a chat to a friend over coffee – sharing feelings with others is an essential part of your everyday happiness.
Sometimes its as simple as being true to your values. If you value sincerity then make sure at the end of the day you can identify having been seen as truthful in all your dealings: be they with colleagues, friends, family members…whoever! If you value compassion then show some empathy to at least one person you cross paths with in a day. If you love your friends then tell one a day that they MAKE your day.
I’m proud to be an individual but I also realise I NEED to be for my own mental health. Each day I think about my values and try to do a stock take of the things I have done that day which demonstrate I have “lived-out” those values. It’s amazing that even just starting that list can make me feel better immediately.
Remember you are not fair to yourself if you are only fighting SOMETIMES for your individuality. Fight for it all the time - every single day!
