"Move" Your Way to a Better Mind Frame

We so often underestimate the value of movement or physical activity. If were not feeling well, if were down, depressed or tired, we lack the motivation to exercise when really exercise is just the thing we need.

An overactive mind so often goes with an underactive body. We need to fight our mind's desire to remain static and compel our bodies to undertake some form of movement.

Many people say that you feel better as soon as you start exercise. I do not believe this. There is no quick fix for anything - so I certainly dont believe that if you start exercising all your problems are going to disappear. I am much of a realist. It is quite likely that the first time you do move, you dont feel any better at all. Maybe even the 2nd time - or the third. It is only once it has become a habit that you find you may even enjoy particular forms of physical activity.

Obviously I prefer dancing to any other form of movement. You will never find me at a gym or playing a team sport. However recently I realised the need I have for more cardio-vascular activity (which dance doesnt always provide as rehearsals are very much stop and start). So I began walking/jogging with my husband.

To be honest the first time I did it, I didnt enjoy it at all - I couldn't wait to get back home and plop myself on the couch. The 2nd time was much the same - in fact for about a month it was like that... sometimes I even dreaded going, and I often thought I just lacked the energy to do it. But now ,about 3 months into this exercise program, I really look forward to our walks. I like the exercise, I like the wind in my face and I enjoy our time together. I also feel a lot better for it.

Similarly a couple of weeks ago, I had committed to a gig at the restaurant at which I often sing. I had received some shocking news that week and so i was tired, lacking energy and motivatiion and Iwas in absolutely no frame of mind to even sing to myself let alone perform for others. But I had committed, and I couldnt let the band down.

The start of our performance was a little bit low as I had expected. However as we gradually moved through the evening I found that the singing and dancing that I was doing was slowly making me feel a little bit better. I was a little bit less anxious and found that I had some energy that I didnt think I had before. By the end of the evening I was feeling a whole lot better and almost ready to face the world again.

I often forget just how much of an impact dance and exercise does have on my moods. I find that I often say over in my head, "Overactive mind - underactive body," and it helps me keep my "movement" on track.

Tips for Dealing with Grief

I know this is not strictly an expressive arts issue but its definitely a mental health issue and one that is close to me at the moment...so here goes.

Grief is something we all have to deal with at some point in our lives: there is no escaping it. Some have to face it more often than others, some have to face it younger than others. Everyone's experience of Grief is different, but it is the same sentiment.

Grief can be defined as: Deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement. Losing a loved one is one of life's saddest experiences. Whether you lose a parent, a friend, a child or a lover, the mental anguish you feel is deeply intense: so intense that, to a point, you may feel as though you are aching both mentally and physically.

Everyone experiences it, but everyone experiences it differently. Some people cry. Some people try to be around family and friends. Others immerse themselves in work, some take time out on their own.

If you are suffering from a mental illness, the loss of a loved one can mean, not only a period of grieving but may also mean a massive mood change for the worse if you are not careful. Obviously if you already have a vulnerability to depression or mood swings, something like an unexpected death can be enough to push you over the edge. You need to look after yourself.

Whatever your experience is, there are ways to help ease the hurting a little during the difficult period and help maintain mental stability.

1. Cry. Cry and dont be afraid to. Its the body's natural way of releasing the sad emotion. It is healthy and natural to cry. You can cry by yourself in your own time and in your own way, or you can cry with others grieving with you, and you can share the emotions together.

2. Talk. Many people have difficulty doing this following the loss of a loved one. Its almost as if its to painful to do. But humans need to release what they are feeling inside. Tell someone you feel sad/angry/confused/frustrated. It is good for you to get it out, and no one is going to judge you for it.

3. Find your support network. You need people who understand what you're going through. Someone that will hug you, take care of some things for you, or even just sit there with you. Everyone needs a support network in life: its human nature to need contact with others, but it is especially important that you have your support in times of grief.

4. Keep photos. This sounds silly, but I can tell you that after the death of my two most loved ones, I put all their photos away - I couldn't bear to look at them. I didn't realise at the time that by doing this, I was only prolonging and delaying the grief to another time rather than living through it. Keep photos of your loved one around and if you see them and cry: then cry. Its your right and you are meant to miss them ,so let your body show that it does.

5. Re-kindle your faith. If you practice a religion or have a faith of some description, then re-visit your beliefs about the role of death in the overall scheme of things. Think about how your loved one and you fit into the greater picture and find some comfort in the fact that there are energies bigger and greater than we can possibly understand - but we are all a part of them.

6. And of course you knew it was coming... Play music. My family would not allow us to play music after the death of someone as it was thought to be disrespectful - but this couldn't be further from the truth. Music is soothing for the soul. Even now when I hear certain songs, I immediately think of my uncle and in some ways I find it really comforting, like he is still with me.

7. Do something physical. You need to keep those feel-good hormones pumping through your body. Go for a walk or do something that requires movement. One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen was a scene from the movie Evita. Just after it was announced that she had died, there is a scene in a bar where the couples were dancing a beautiful slow dance with their heads on each others shoulder, to beautiful music, mourning their loss together. I think this is a healthy way to grieve - the mental and physical combined.

Obviously there are many more things you can do to help you deal with grief. If you have some suggestions, please feel free to add comments below.

In the meantime, my sweet Amy, you are dearly loved and will be sorely missed.

Do You Have Trouble Sleeping?

I do! I always have. For me sleeping has always been a problem. I've never found it easy to go to sleep or to stay asleep. When I was a child, it didn't matter so much - it seems that children have an endless supply of energy, but as I've gotten older, its become more and more of a problem.

Lack of sleep can take its toll both physcally and mentally. Physically, your reflexes can become slower, your body can ache and your eyes become sore, heavy and dark. Mentally, you can become irritable, sad, even depressed.

Most people are aware that 6-8 hours sleep a night is what is required to maintain a healthy lifestyle. However, this needs to be 6-8 hours of good quality sleep. If you are waking constantly, tossing and turning, going to the bathroom or having to get tea/milk, then chances are, you are not getting the quality sleep that you need, and it could be effecting your mental health.

Obviously, there are a number of things you can do to help with sleep, some of which you most likely already know - but lets go over them anyway.

1. Try to keep your bedroom exactly that - your bedroom. Don't bring work into the bedroom. In fact try not to have the TV in the bedroom either. Your mind needs to know, that when you go to that place - you go there for one purpose only: and that is to sleep. So keep your bedroom as your sleeping place only.

2. Make sure your bedroom is comfortable. If you are going to sleep for a good 6-8 hours, you need to make sure that your room is entincing. Make sure you like your bed and that it feels comfortable. Have pillows that are soft and comfy so that you want to rest on them. Have curtains that make the lighting in the room just right for you.

3. Eliminate excess noise. Sometimes this is not an easy thing to do. I live on a main road, so that does make things a little difficult. If you can afford it, consider soundproofing your room. If not, you can arrange to have extra thick curtains or special blinds that dull the noises, which might make it more bearable.

3. Keep some water by the bed. This means that if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you do not have to get out of bed to get a drink. You have a better chance of falling back to sleep if you dont get out of bed, so try to avoid this if possible.

4. Try placing some lavender on your pillow. Lavender is meant to be soothing and helps you relax. Or even try another scent that you enjoy. The olfactory sense is the most amazing sense and it has been proven that scents can evoke all different sorts of emotions. If you find a particular scent that makes you feel happy or relaxed, then this might just put you in the right frame of mind to fall asleep.

5. Check your breathing. Many people suffer from poor sleep because of sinus problems. Waking up gasping for air is very disruptive to your sleeping pattern. Don't delay, see a doctor about keeping your breathing difficulties at bay. The same goes for snoring. If you snoring is disrupting your sleep, the consult a GP or a pharmacist to see what can be done.

6. Of course my favourite: have a CD of music that you find especially relaxing. Set aside at night 10-15 minutes where you lay in bed listening to this music. This is your time to relax and it tells your body that sleep time is on its way. If you wake in the middle of the night, and you can't get back to sleep, you can always start the CD again. This is a technique that does wonders for me.

Finally, if you have tried all these methods and perhaps many others, you really need to take some action. Sleep is too important to let go for too long. If you continue to have problems, then you should consult a specialist. There are actually sleep clinics that you can visit where specialists monitor your breathing and sleep throughout the night. It is possible if you have tried endless techniques and you still cant sleep, that you have a sleep condition which might require special attention. Don't neglect yourself - check it out!

In the meantime, I hope these few tips help you improve the quality of your sleep.

Good night and pleasant dreams!

I Want to Live Like Animals

This may sound silly but do you remember the Savage Garden song from quite a few years ago now that said, "I want to live like animals, careless and free." Well, this was a beautiful song and while I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day it occurred to me that there are some fundamental differences in feelings between animals and humans that make us less likely to be "careless and free," so to speak.

While animals feel pain, pleasure, fear and love (some would debate this, but I am sure from my own experiences with my cat that they do feel love), there are two emotions animals lack: guilt, and regret.

It is true that humans are capable of some of the strongest and most beautiful emotions like love and trust, but the flipside is that regret and guilt are both very strong emotions too, and if we do not keep them in check, theye can become hugely self destructive. If only we could learn to have no regrets like the animals. If only somehow we could make our brain understand that at any point in time in our lives we make the best decision we can with the knowledge that was available to us in that situation.

If we only understood that hindsight is useless and self-berrating. We always do whatever we can with the circumstances available to us at our then present time. If we fully understood this, then we wouldn't need to regret because we would know that we did what we could. and nothing less. However, unfortunately we are obsesssed with hindsight. We become obsessed thinking about the past and what we think we should have done, we waste time regretting our actions or worse - feeling guilty about them, which is not only pointless, but also a waste of our precious time and is damaging to our emotional well-being.

When you find yourself regretting something, or feeling guilty - please try to remember: there are no wrong decisions in life - there are just experiences and lessons to be learnt. Please lets all try to live a little "like the animals," and set your soul free.

Paniyiri

This weekend is Paniyiri weekend! For those of you that haven't a clue what I am talking about, Paniyiri is Greek for "festival." So this weekend is Greek Festival weekend in Brisbane!

Ever since I was a kid I've loved, enjoyed and looked forward to Paniyiri. Most years I either dance or sing, many times the same repertoire as the year before.

One of my friends asked me how I can still be enthusiastic after more than 20 years of attending. I thought about this question and I asked myself, "What is is about Paniyiri that year after year makes me excited and happy?" "Is it the food?" Sure the food is great, but its not the drawing point. "Is it the Greek wines?" Hmmm, the Greeks aren't really the best wine makers! Surprise surprise, its actually the music!

At Paniyiri, a live band plays all my favourite Greek songs - new and old, and the atmosphere created by the live band - up there high on that big stage - is incredible. And its not just me that feels it. Every year I watch (and dance with) hundreds of non-greeks on the big grassy dance floor. They haven't got a clue what the song lyrics mean or how the dance is danced, but they feel moved by the music and the atmosphere and they feel compelled to dance. Its a wonderful thing to witness - so many people so happy and feeling so great that they just want to move.

That is what brings me back ever year.

So if you live in Brisbane, and you've got nothing else planned this weekend, head down to the Paniyiri at Musgrave park and have a dance - you'll feel so much better for it!

Singing for the Soul

The band that I sometimes sing with asked me to sing last Friday night at the restaurant at which we often perform. I had had a hectic week from hell and, come Friday afternoon I still had a squillion things to finish before I could call it a week.

Yes, I was tired, in fact, that's probably an understatement: I was exhausted. However, eventually I went home and started getting ready for the gig at the restaurant.

My husband came home and saw me getting ready, despite my fatigue and weariness, and he asked me why I bother going to sing at the restaurant. He said, "You are hardly paid anything for it, and its not like you need the work." All of what he said is true.

However, if I were singing merely for the money - well, I would probably never sing! I explained to him that he had missed the point entirely. I dont sing because I'm paid to: I sing because it makes me feel wonderful.

Have you ever noticed that when you are particularly happy that you whistle, hum or sing a tune? It is no coincidence: happiness and singing are interrelated. Singing can lift your spirits. It is liberating and satisfying as you are using your very own unique instrument to make your very own music. If you have a voice, then you have the potential to be a musician! What a gift!

But apart from making you feel better, Doctors have also advocated singing for health, saying that it encourages good posture and deep breathing. So really, its almost a form of meditation. If you have ever been in your car, or in the shower or in your room and you have played and/or sung the same song over and over again, you will understand just how meditative music can be. When you are listening to, and singing a song that you love, you are thinking about nothing else but the lyrics and the sound that you are producing. Two of the purposes of meditation are to establish a good breathing pattern and to make the mind focus on one thing only, at the exclusion of everything else. This is an exact description of me when I'm singing - and for many of you too, I imagine.

To read about the benefits of singing for mental health, check out this article by Wendy Moore published in The Observer. And finally: just keep on singing your way to good mental health!

Making Music

A psychiatrist that I was once talking to said to me,

"Tina, do you ever wonder why none of my clients are ever musicians?"

"No, why?" I thought to myself, and the answer was really a simple one. Making music is really creative therapy, so musicians basically receive therapy as a full time job! How wonderful is that!

But thats not to say that no one else can benefit from such therapy as well. Everyone has the ability to make music. A good friend of mine who was very shy, decided he wanted to have singing lessons, and his confidence changed dramatically just after a few lessons. My mother, has no background in music but she loves to sing and to listen to music.

A few weeks ago I was really in a rut. The office was bringing me down - long hours at work and not much fun. Then a friend of mine invited me to watch his band play in the evening. I was reluctant at first because it was far away and on work night, but I decided to go. And WOW... I had forgotten just how uplifting it is to watch live music! By halfway through the act I was clapping and singing along and I felt energised and rejuvenated. Why had I let myself go so long without live music!

I've made a rule to go every Thursday night - That should kick start the weekend nicely!